Saturday, 26 March 2011

The hubby

Today my hubby has tried to save the dishwasher from the landfill.  Apparently there was something wrapped around the impeller and the pump is now working.  The dishwasher still will not drain - the mystery search continues.  This has left everyone frustrated.  Mostly the daughter is frustrated because it is her chore to do the  dishes and the rest of us have to live with sorta clean dishes because she hates the job. 

So - who is the hubby?  Well he is this amazing man who I have been with since 1991 - yup - 20 years. 

In the second term at UVic in the 1990-91 year I went into the SUB for my usual 'avoid class' coffee and saw this guy that I had never seen before.  He was wearing red high top converse, army pants, a crazy patterned black and orangish pullover hoodie and a mullet (remember they were cool then!) but in the long part of his mullet were beads and hair wraps etc.  He also wore these crazy half glasses when reading.  He had the most increadible blue eyes, still does really, and I was facinated by him.  There was much across the room checking out and flirting. 

On February 1st I raced to school because I thought I had slept in and was late for a info table on the peer counselling program.  I flew into the SUB at 9:00am to find out that the room we were in didn't open until 10:00am.  I felt a little foolish so I wandered downstairs to the hang out area to get a coffee and bagel.  I walked into the room to see my future hubby sitting at an adjoining table to someone I knew.  I placed my order and went and sat with my friend and 'ignored' this cute guy I was to spend my life with.  I was desperately hoping something would happen to allow us to meet.  Finally I get called to get my bagel and when I sit down again he say "That looks good" referencing my bagel.  I say "would you like it?" handing it over to him.  There was a lovely interchange of him saying 'no' and me saying 'no really, its ok!' until we settled into a conversation of other things. 

The rest of the day I spent trying to find excuses to talk to him, remain in these conversations as long as possible.  At one point he mentioned that his student loan had not come in.  As it turns out my mother had just been to visit and had stocked me up with more food than one person could eat so I did the logical thing - I invited him over to dinner!  He accepted after awhile and by this time probably thought I was insane. 

That evening we walked from my place to the grocery store to pick up a couple extra things to make dinner with.  On the way back we held hands.  It was ridiculous how holding hands with someone could have felt that right.  Once back at my place, while I was cooking dinner, he came up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders and leaned in and kissed my neck - my knees just about buckled!  We ate dinner and chatted.  Finally after dinner we actually kissed and I knew at that moment that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.  I was completely in love.

We spent the rest of the weekend together, spent time at my place and at his place.  He moved into my place to save money and get away from his roomate.  My mom was covering half my rent until the end of the school year.  Once school was out we moved into our own place and fessed to our parents that we were living together.  No one was impressed.  We struggled for years.  We did the nomadic university student thing of moving about every 10 - 12 months for various reasons. 

We met Feb 1st.  By July we were engaged.  That pissed of my mom something fierce. 

We had a social shuffle.  We had vastly different friends and no one understood why we were together.  We just knew that we were supposed to be together.  That fall we got involved in the medievalist stuff.  I had been involved since I was 15 but had moved to where there was no group for a couple years and then had a difficult time with and individual harassing me when I tried to get involved in Victoria.  We went to an open house to meet people and I found someone doing bobbin lace.  I was hooked once again.

This became a large part of our social circle and it was a fun way to spend time together.  We had a blast just being an engaged couple.  Living paycheck to paycheck and having fun.

His mother was determined to have a wedding date set so we did.  June 18th 1994 we got married.  Our families helped a bit but we did it debt free and the way we wanted. 

We continued to work, school part time etc.  There were many eventful things that occured invoving collapsing stairs, law suits, family emergencies, arguments, moving, parites, jobs etc. 

In 1997 we had our daughter - wow, being a parent is amazing and challenging but the best decision ever.

In 1998 we moved to the Okanagan Valley - best decision as a couple ever.

In 1999 we had our son - best surprise ever! 

In 2001 we bought a house and stopped moving all the time! 

There have been some crazy times in our lives but the one thing  that I come back to all the time is a piece of advice my mom gave me before I met him.  I was struggling whether I should break up with a guy I was dating.

Mom:  Can you live with him:?
Me:  Yeah - I can live with him - I can live with most people.
Mom:  Can you live without him?
Me:  Yeah - I totally could do that.
Mom:  Then break up with him.  When you meed the person you can't live without - that is the one you hang on to and is worth fighting for.

My hubby is the person I can't live without.  There have been times that I have a really hard time living with him but I also know I can't live without him so we sort it out.  We know each other better than we know ourselves sometimes.  Life is good when I am snuggled into his chest.

No one ever thought we would make it a year let alone 20 years. 

I love him.

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