Many times I look at my life how it truly is and wonder how exactly it got this way.
Today is my son's 12th birthday.
I have a VERY hard time comprehending the fact that not only do I have a 12 year old son but I have an almost 14 year old daughter.
Today was spent focusing on him and it takes a lot of energy. This young man has ADHD, generalized anxiety and an assortmetn of learning diabilities that prevent him from getting his brilliant thoughts and ideas out of his head. This causes much frustration. He also is very sensitive to sugar, food colorings and simply the energy of being around people. He has been flying high all day and I am really tired.
We ate dinner and this is what the buzz in my house is like on a typical day: daughter doing the dishes, hubby playing a game with son, wifey helping daughter with the dishes and father in law watching hockey. I found myself sitting there knitting a thing (still don't know if it is a scarf or shawl or what) half paying attention to the hockey game and suddenly I felt kind of old.
My ideal vision of myself is a cross between a burlesque dancer and a derby girl with a bit of suicide girl thrown in who is a full time textile artist and classical pianist.
The reality of myself is a very overweight, tired, fibromyalgia suffering, anxiety/depression battling admin assistant who teaches piano on the side and wishes she would take more time to follow that above dream.
Time to start figuring out what brought me to this place.